The worst part of my depression

Dear reader,

Do you know what’s the worst part of being depressed? Trust me when I say I hope you don’t. Cause if you do, it means you’ve been through this yourself.
The worst part is that I don’t see me having a future.

I can’t picture myself after school, having a job. Or moving out and buying or renting a place for myself. I can’t even picture myself having a relationship, or children even.

And I want it. I really do want all that. But right now it just seems impossible and that scares me. A lot. But it doesn’t mean I’m giving up. I am trying to get better, because I really want that job and a place for myself. And maybe even a relationship. Someday.. when I’m ready.

But the talking doesn’t seem to help and my medication isn’t really helping. So I guess, for now, I’ll just stick to the dreams and that little bit of hope in side of me. And then maybe, someday, everything will be ok again.

Much love,

Sam

Update on life

Dear readers,

I told you I created this blog so you could get to know me a bit better. But I haven’t really told you anything about myself lately and I don’t know if you care or not, but I guess you do as you are reading this right now.
Anyway.. I decided to give you a little update on my life.

A few weeks ago I got diagnosed as depressed and distressed (<- means having to many emotions). It’s not like I didn’t see it coming, ‘cause I’ve been feeling low since last October.
I’m telling you this because most people are ashamed of being depressed. But why would you? You wouldn’t be ashamed of being diabetic or something. And besides, it’s not contagious so nobody should be worried.

But here’s the deal. I’m not ashamed of it, not at all. But that doesn’t mean it’s easy for me to talk about. There are not many people who know about me being depressed and distressed. And if you’re my friend and you are reading this right now, please don’t assume that I don’t trust you. Cause I do, we wouldn’t be friends if I didn’t. I just don’t like talking about it and I find it hard to put myself in such a vulnerable position. So please don’t be mad?

To end this update with some good news; I am being treated for it, so let’s hope I’ll be better soon.

Much love,

Sam