It’s kind of a funny story

Dear reader,

It’s the end of February and that means that yet another Smaxx-month has passed. So let’s review another book.

In our little Smaxx world, February was all about this book; It’s kind of a funny story, written by Ned Vizzini. The cover says that this is a very important book and I can only agree. In It’s kinds of a funny story the author gives you a quick peek inside the head of a person who’s dealing with a depression. Not a chance you get very often.

I have to say it was very good, but also very confronting. I really recognized myself in some ways. His train of thoughts, the distress.. that scared me a bit sometimes. But the way Craig (the main character) dealt with this all was very inspiring. Let me explain.

When a person is depressed, they often don’t see the good sides of life anymore. And when everything in their lives turns to black, there’s no stopping them anymore. They kill themselves if they dare. But not Craig. Craig is so stressed about his school stuff and his future that he wants to throw himself of the Brooklyn Bridge. The easy way out. But he stresses even more when he doesn’t know what to do with his bike.
He takes one of his mom’s books How to survive the loss of a love and looks up what to do when feeling suicidal. He then calls the suicide hotline and they tell him to go to the hospital. And before he knows it, he’s admitted himself to Six North, adult psychiatric.

And I think this is so brave. There aren’t many people who think that clearly.

I do have to say. When I was about halfway through the book, I started to recognize this story. It turns out that there’s a movie based on this book. And guess what.. I’ve seen that movie.

So if you don’t like reading, you could always watch the movie. I’m being real here. Do it. Watch it. Read it. Live it. It ís important to know what a depression can do to a person. And I know that suffering from a depression is different for everyone, but at least it’s a start. There should be more of these books, just to get people to understand.
And this is real. Ned Vizzini wrote this a week after being released from his own Six North.

So all in all, I think this is one of the most important books on my shelve.

Maxx, I hope you feel the same way I do. I really hope you enjoyed my choice of books for February and I will see you in March!

Much love,



New year’s resolutions

Dear reader,

Everyone has them, some even complete them. I never come up with them, because I know I won’t stick to them. But I am going to try anyway.

My goals for 2014 are to become healthy; both mentally and physically.
I want to become mentally strong. I want to get my diploma.
End my internship with a lot of good memories, experiences and friends.
I want to do Kermis FM again and find myself a proper job.

I want to visit more concerts. Discover more artists.

I want to read as many books as I can and I will allow myself to read one book that I’ve already read before, every two months. I am going to keep up with The Smaxx Project with Maxx.

I will try to blog more. I am going to continue my Song Of The Week. And I am going to try everything that comes to me.

So as far as resolutions go, this are mine. Now let’s hope I can make it all happen.

Much love,


This thing called friendship

Dear reader,

There are points in your life when you think you’ve made a friend for life. I’ve stumbled upon those times and I’ve learned that not all of those friends really are for life.
It can happen that you drift apart and some will turn against you.

Just don’t take it the hard way. I think that everything happens for a reason, so there must have been a purpose for them to come in to your life. Don’t regret it. Learn from it. Look at yourself and think about what went wrong. What could’ve been done differently. And don’t hold a grudge against anyone.

And remember! Those who mind, don’t matter and those who matter, don’t mind.

Much love,


Don’t judge, make a change!

Dear readers,

The world knows so many people. So who are we to decide if someone is weird? Maybe they’re just a little different from yourself, but they’re people too, you know.

I don’t think we’re allowed to judge. We all do it, there’s no point in denying. But why, though..? To make ourselves feel better? Shouldn’t we feel better after sending people our love and respect? After treating them like equals? Cause that’s what they are!

I meet new people every day. On the streets, while traveling and because of my internship. And yes, I find some of those people a bit strange. But that doesn’t mean they’re less valuable. They may not have the same view on life as me. If we judge people based on that, then we’re the weirdoes in this story. Cause we should respect other people’s thoughts. Maybe we could even learn from them.

They might have seen things in life that made them change their mind on certain subjects. And I don’t think we should treat them differently or make fun of them because of that.

So let’s make a change. Yes, another one.
For once, don’t judge. Listen to what people have got to say. And it doesn’t matter if you agree or not. But it’s their point of view. So talk about it, try to see life through their eyes.

If you want to feel better, start with the person next to you. One day you’ll get it in return.

Much love,


Suicide Awareness Day – Make the world a better place

Dear reader,

Monday September 10th was World Wide Suicide Awareness Day. People wearing something yellow and writing love on their wrists. All to show people that they care. They care about you and your story, about how you feel. They want to make sure that you don’t feel left out, that you feel loved and beautiful. They want to show you that if something is wrong, you can talk to them, ask them for advice.

Too bad it’s all just for one day. And it’s even worse that it’s necessary.

If people just stood up for one another or if they just ask people how they’re doing every now and then… Just send some love to the people around you, even if they’re just strangers.
Go sit with the guy who’s having lunch all by himself. Stand up for that shy girl when they bully her. Give someone your attention, make sure they feel wanted.

If we’d all be a little bit nicer to each other, this day would be irrelevant. Say hello to a stranger on the street, smile when you walk past people. Because one single smile can make a different. It can lighten someone’s mood and make them feel better.

We shouldn’t have to wear yellow to send out a message to the ones that don’t like living. It’s shouldn’t be just one day out of 365 to make people aware of self-harm and suicide.

In Holland on average 4,5 people commit suicide every day. That’s a lot. And it’s not necessary. So give some love to the people around you and talk to them. Make someone’s day a little bit better by doing something nice out of the blue.

And don’t just blow this away. It’s important. You might not know how it feels to loose someone this way. But I do. I know how it feels to blame yourself for not sending enough love, or not being able to help someone, because they’re already so far gone. Nobody should have to deal with this, so make sure no more people will.

Let’s see how many lives we can change. Let’s see how many people we can save.

Much love,